“He’s been God a long time, He knows what He’s doing.” A friend sent me a song recently and this line caught my attention. Several times lately I have questioned God and then realized later that things went how they were meant to go. I’ve said sarcastically, “Hmm, I guess You do know what You are doing.”
Sometimes I get so caught up in myself I forget it is all about Him. I so deeply believe that He cares about our own personal development; He gives us dreams to pursue and things to hope for. In the end though, it isn’t about us. I do believe that these things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. It isn’t choose God and completely disregard self, or care about self and completely disregard God. Actually, they are often intimately intertwined.
It wasn’t until I started examining my own beliefs about who God was that I realized I had such a flawed view of myself. “Who is God?” and “Who am I?” are questions that walk hand in hand, and we probably never reach a point where we don’t need to ask them.
When things don’t go the way I want them to, I have to ask myself these questions. Who is God? and Who am I? When I feel like a disappointment, or when I feel left out, jealous, insecure, the list goes on – I go back to this. This is the starting line. Otherwise I start to question if God knew what He was doing when He created me. Woof.
This week I caught myself placing my worth in other people’s love for me. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I’m pretty obsessed with the tribe God has provided for me. They are spectacular. But they can never make me feel as loved as I need them to – and they shouldn’t have to. What I am invited to receive from the Lord, I have been expecting from my people.
It’s that classic but true youth group phrase: “When you’re seeking fulfillment/love/acceptance in the wrong places, you will be left feeling empty.” I realized I was in that place this week. So I asked the questions: Who is God? Who am I?
He is so sweet to meet us in those places. I told Him that I feel like a toddler learning how to walk on her own: “Why am I so easily toppled? I fall ALL the time. I’m so rattled by insecurity and jealousy. I want to stay rooted, to stand firm in who You say I am.”
As I have shared before, God spoke over me this identity a few years ago: that He treasures me. When I question my worth and value, I always come back to this. I find that there is always more to learn, more that God wants to offer us, more words and visions and confidence that He wants to speak over us when it comes to our identity. So I ask Him, time and time again, what does it mean to be treasured by You?
This was my takeaway this time – and it is true for you too:
A treasure is defined as a treasure by the person who “finds” it. It is a treasure to the possessor of the treasure, the “treasurer” if you will.
No matter how anyone else sees it, what anyone else calls it or does to it. No matter how much value or worth (or lack thereof) any other person would place on it. It is still a treasure. Think “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” A treasure is a treasure because the treasurer says so.
I am His treasure – His treasured child. I am treasured by Him – no matter what anyone else says about me, how they treat me, who they think I am. No matter if I am rejected, left out, underestimated, misunderstood, not forgiven, abandoned.
I am treasured: seen, valued, known.
Treasured: something once forgotten and lost, that now is FOUND.
He’s been God a long time, He knows what He’s doing.”
There is another line in that same song that stuck out to me:
“He’s coming to overwhelm the thing that’s overwhelming you.”
That is exactly what He did in this place of hurt and insecurity I was experiencing. Where I was feeling overwhelmed by insecurity and not-enough-ness, He overwhelmed me with truth about my identity. An overwhelming gift. A treasure.
Don’t expect people or whatever it is you might put your expectations in to love you or support you in an unconditional way – you will be disappointed. But He never disappoints.
Ask these questions today, friend: Who is God? Who does He say I am? He will overwhelm you with answers. Listen closely and hold on tightly; it is always a beautiful adventure with Him.