two thousand fifteen.

On my first day of classes in this last semester of grad school, we spent time contemplating the passage where Jesus feeds the five thousand. In our program we practiced contemplating Scripture and seeing ourselves in it – where are you in this passage? Where is Jesus? What does He say to you?

In this passage Jesus has his disciples collect all the food there is – five loaves of bread and two fish – and then tells the people to sit down. He then breaks the bread and fish and somehow produces enough food to feed the five thousand (and their wives and children).

When I pictured myself in this story, right when Jesus tells everyone to sit down, he stopped me and motioned me towards him saying, “You’re gonna want to see this.”

That prefaced this semester. This semester of writing a thesis, interviewing for jobs, being offered a job, praying for my brother’s job transfer, him getting that job, graduating seminary, and all the personal growth that comes through all those hills and valleys and staying alert through it all.

I wish I could say I trusted Him perfectly. That I was always standing at His side, watching Him produce the miracles. Being the eye witness to His provision for our needs.

I would say the truth is more that I was pacing back and forth while He prayed over the bread and fish; worrying constantly and questioning everything and just trying to survive it all. How is this going to work? But how will You ever have enough?

2015 is coming, a new year, a new chance to stand confidently at His side while He works His plan out for us. He invites us to be a part of it – He says to each of us, “Don’t sit, you’re gonna want to see this.” For what in your life do you need to trust God? What plan is He praying over, preparing in advance for you – and in what way is He inviting you to be a part? Trust and know that He is capable. He is for you. His plan will provide all the fish and bread you could ever need – with a lot left over.

2015 – I want you to be a year of presence. The year of standing calm and still and being a present witness to the work God is doing. You will not be named fear; out with the old. You will be characterized by the knowledge in and confidence of God’s goodness and faithfulness.

Resolutions for the new year are often arbitrary, however – I want to enter this year fully leaning on who God has shown Himself to be in the past year. I want to look back and remember; to trust Him in the challenges because He has been faithful all along. He has given me reason enough to trust, so I will trust.

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One of those twenty-somethings trying to find my way through this silly world. I write to process, and sometimes send those thoughts out into the void. Passionate about Jesus and people and bringing those two together. Living in and loving Denver. Working with college students, who are the coolest. Seeking Jesus in everything.

2 thoughts on “two thousand fifteen.

  1. Beautiful! My theme this year is “open hands” to God and His plan, and to His nearness in hardship. Consent to let Him mess with things and hold my desires and work them out until they are one with His will.

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