Learning to Trust

I’m about halfway through my Master’s program.  Considering how quickly the first half flew by, I feel like I am going to be wearing that hideous graduation cap before I know it.  And that my friends, is terrifying.
Most graduate programs seem to focus in on a career path, so that by the time you graduate it is clear where you will be working.  My program however, is somewhat broad and lends itself to many different areas of work.  This results in a blank stare on my face and a response of “…uhhh…” when anyone asks, “So, what are you going to do when you graduate?
It is tempting to start hyper-ventilating and run into a corner because I do not really have a clear answer to that question at all.  And then one day I met with my advisor who has that scary gift of seeing into my soul and asks the questions beneath the emotions “Is this a trust issue?  Do you trust God?”

Let me be honest with you and tell you I was an immediate waterfall of tears because I knew she was right.  Do I trust God?  It is easy to say that I do, but when I really think about itwhen it really comes down to it…do I trust that He cares about me? Do I trust that He has a plan for my life?  Do I trust that His plan is better than mine, even if it may involve some waiting and some detours that I would not choose?
I read a devotional a while back that explained how opals become the beautiful, reflective stones we know them to be.  They start out as dust and sand, and over time become a beautiful mineral. Air can enter into the stone because of its many cracks, which then refracts the light. Basically, because of its brokenness, it shines.
“You are only conscious of the cracks and desert sand, but so He makes His precious opalsWe must be broken in ourselves before we can give back the lovely hues of His light, and the lamp of the Temple can burn in us and never go out.” – Ellice Hopkins
We don’t know what or who God is preparing us to be, but we can trust that He cares about us and has a plan.  He created the earth so that beautiful minerals can come out of dust – I think He can probably make something beautiful out of us too.
God often plants his flowers among rough rocks.
I often think back to one small but pivotal moment in my life, when I was 15.  I was in the midst of my freshman year of high school, hating every second of it.  I remember complaining to my Mom about something, probably mean girls or stupid boys, and she said, “Flowers grow best in dirt.”  It was so simple, but so true.  Just like a flower can’t expect to grow in a pile of fluffy cotton balls, we won’t see much growth unless we are firmly rooted in some hard stuff.
“God often plants his flowers among rough rocks.”  You may be growing in rocky soil right now, but God knows what He is doing.  And through the doubts, the dust, and the rocks, He is calling you to trust.

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One of those twenty-somethings trying to find my way through this silly world. I write to process, and sometimes send those thoughts out into the void. Passionate about Jesus and people and bringing those two together. Living in and loving Denver. Working with college students, who are the coolest. Seeking Jesus in everything.

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