Why Church Makes Me Cry

So I think I’ve found my Denver church home.  Pretty exciting!  A friend described finding your church as that overwhelming sense of being “home.”  I feel that there.  What is neat is that it is a new campus, a satellite campus, of a church here that was growing and growing and needing to expand.  So Easter Sunday was the grand opening, and that was my first Sunday there too.  So I feel like I am a part of it in this special way; I feel connected already in that we are all starting new together.
And I feel it, every week – that sense of being home.
 And every week, I cry.  I cry during a worship song, or the sermon, or even sometimes something they say during the announcements brings tears to my eyes. 
And it’s not the only church that has made me cry – in fact, I probably cry more in church services than anywhere else.  My best friend and Mom can attest to this.  So on Sunday, as we sang, “there is love, that is as strong as death” and tears filled my eyes, I stopped and wondered why.  Why does church always make me cry?  And this C.S. Lewis quote immediately came to mind:  
“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”
By “other world”, to me he obviously means Heaven.  We know as Christians that this world, this life, is filled with heartache, loneliness, hurt, pain, the list goes on and only in Heaven will we be fulfilled and experience true fullness of JOY and perfect peace.  And this sadness, heartache, tears – what it really is – is homesickness.  For my real home.  So why do my tears flow like rivers every time I am in church?
Because it is a gathering of believers, of followers of Jesus.  A group of people coming together for the sole purpose of worshipping the LORD and drawing near to Him. 
It is the closest experience to Heaven that we can have here on earth!
So my tears come because its almost like my soul is reminded of what her real home is likea place where she internally knows she is meant to be.  That no matter how great this one is, I’m meant for something (or some-place) more.
Romans 8:23 says, “We ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.”
Meaning, we who have put our faith in God’s saving Love have an inward thirst that cannot be quenched until we are adopted into His family and brought to our new home.  The surrounding passage in Romans 8 uses the analogy of pregnancy.  In The Message translation, Romans 8:22-25 says this,
“All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.”
I’ll admit – that is a pretty visual analogybut so true!  Just as with each new day a pregnant woman is longing more and more to see her new child, so we should feel a desire to be reunited with our Heavenly Father and eternal family.  And I think I feel that each time I’m in church worshipping with a small part of that family.
And then I just sit and imagine itwhen we are all reunited there with Him – millions and billions of Christians joining together in the greatest worship service ever – and that inward longing and desire will be fulfilled.won’t that be full of JOY? J

Here is Brooke Frasier’s song interpretation of the C.S. Lewis quote, take a minute and enjoy.

Posted by

One of those twenty-somethings trying to find my way through this silly world. I write to process, and sometimes send those thoughts out into the void. Passionate about Jesus and people and bringing those two together. Living in and loving Denver. Working with college students, who are the coolest. Seeking Jesus in everything.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s