Like an unwanted houseguest, it keeps showing up. In small and large ways, I’m so aware of what I wish was different, or where I feel lacking. Discouragement bubbles up like heartburn, threatening to steal my joy.

Each day I glance upon the sticky note I wrote myself, practically taunting me with its reprimand: “Disappointments are inevitable, discouragement is a choice.” (Charles F. Stanley)
Each day I realize how quick I am to choose it, to let it take me over. Yes, there will be disappointments, but discouragement is my choice.

“Disappointments are inevitable, discouragement is a choice.”

The Eeyore in me says, “Life just is disappointing – that is just a fact.” But Christ in me says otherwise: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NIV). 

One of the more frustrating things to realize is that we do always have a choice. No matter what life throws at us, our response is always our choice. If we are honest with ourselves, we don’t want that kind of ownership. We don’t want the responsibility of choosing our response. We want to be given a hall pass to be hopeless, frustrated, whiny, etc., because life is hard and it happened to us. 

Sanctification is realizing that you have power, given to you by God, to choose a better way and then doing it. It takes so much effort, but if we ask Him for it, God will give us the strength to do it. To choose gratitude over jealousy, to choose hope over despair, to choose abundance over scarcity.

Where is discouragement sneaking up on you right now? What response should you choose instead?

Maybe someone has what you currently really, really want. What would it look like to choose celebration over jealousy? I hate this, truly. And have failed at it many a time. Lean into celebrating, even if it doesn’t feel genuine at first. Sometimes we are so concerned with “living our truth” that we forget that sometimes you have to start before you are ready. Just because you don’t feel excited about exercising, doesn’t mean it won’t be good for you. This is similar. 

Maybe something doesn’t look the way you thought it would. Discouragement tells us nothing will ever be as great as we imagined, and that we were stupid for hoping. When you hear that voice being really mean to you, realize that it isn’t yours and that it’s all a lie. Also realize that just because something doesn’t look the way you thought it would, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or a failure. Our brains are programmed to feel comfortable in what we know. That means in new or strange scenarios we are programmed to believe something is wrong, even if it isn’t. 

Or maybe you’re disappointed with yourself and discouragement comes as that critical voice that says you’ll never achieve anything or be worthy of love or whatever the lie is for you right now. What would it mean to offer yourself some grace, rather than naming yourself a failure? We won’t always succeed. We often don’t even know what we want, so we live in a consistent state of frustration or discouragement with the state of our lives. What if we chose open hands, trusting our future to the God who designed us? 

As a mother, I consistently think about our 6-week ultrasound where the tech told us that our baby was, at that time, “the size of a grain of rice.” There is no better picture of the beautiful, deep way that God knows and sees us than that He truly knits us together in our mother’s womb. From the moment we are only cells joining together, He knows our paths, our giftings, our desires. It feels pretty convincing that we could choose to trust in the plans and paths of that God. To trust that He knows what He is doing, instead of letting discouragement take over our heads and hearts is what it means to follow Him faithfully. 

Disappointments are inevitable. Discouragement is a choice.

May this be a gentle redirection for you today, if you find yourself neck deep in a place of discouragement. We have the freedom to make a different choice. And the promise of God is that we will see the fruit of that decision in our lives – making us more joyful, hopeful, and gracious people.

With you on the path,

Kallie

• Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash