Tag: suffering

When God Turns Off the TV

.Reading time 11 minutes.

For a while, my question for God has essentially been, “Why won’t you give me what I want?” It sounds incredibly selfish and entitled. It is. But I have justified that question a million times by saying, But I am asking for good things – it’s not like I am trying to justify sin or selfishly get something that doesn’t actually matter. Mostly, I have felt that my deepest desires seem in line with what He calls us to do and be in this life, so why is the answer still no?

I had a bit of a breakthrough with this recently. I was reading in Hebrews 12, where the writer talks about God treating us like His children:

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. If you are not disciplined…then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.” (Hebrews 12:7-8)

Read More

God and the American Dream

.Reading time 8 minutes.

Faith has felt like a rollercoaster recently; one day I am totally in the right headspace, trusting God in all things and believing His plan is best, and the next I am questioning everything wondering if I even know the God that I have devoted my life to. This is exhausting and scary. If I am honest, in the midst of a challenging and heartbreaking season, my prayers have consisted mostly of questions and swear words. I have small moments of clarity in the midst of it all, but not as often as I’d like. One of those was stumbling on this passage in Habakkuk.

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”

Habakkuk 3:17-18

I have been convicted recently of a few things. One, God doesn’t owe us anything. It has been surprisingly easy to create a God in my mind who owes me the American dream. Whatever specific circumstance you are facing, let me say with all the love and grace I have, He doesn’t owe it to you. There are no promises in Scripture telling you that He will bring you a dream job, a spouse, babies, or a white picket fence (or whatever your personal definition might be). And it isn’t just a “be patient and wait on God’s timing” sort of thing. Get comfortable with the idea that those dreams or ideas might not ever be a reality, because God’s promise isn’t that He will give us what we want, but that He will be with us. A mentor reminded me that God isn’t who we have constructed in our minds; He isn’t just “what has worked for us” all along. Suddenly when things aren’t going the way we thought they would or how we wanted them to, we question who God is and if He even loves us (or at least I do, maybe you’re farther along on the journey than I am). It isn’t that God brings challenging circumstances along to “teach us a lesson” (that turns Him into more of an abusive Father than an all-loving God), but that we live in a broken world where things will surely be hard, and if our faith is dependent on God making all of our wildest dreams come true, we will be quickly disappointed and disillusioned with Him. 

Read More

Dear Friend

.Reading time 4 minutes.

I want to carry it all for you: the doubt, the pain, the heartache, and the anger. I want to believe in Him enough for us all. I’m going to try.

Read More