I wake up with that familiar pit in my stomach. Anxiety sits on my stomach like an overweight toddler, waking me up from my sleep. And then God’s voice says: Who are you inviting to sit at your table?
Oh wait, Fear and Shame, how the heck did you two get a seat here? You didn’t. You actually weren’t invited. You show up uninvited all the time. You come in like loud, obnoxious children – acting like you own the place. The worst kind of party crashers.
But this is my table. My mind. My heart. I don’t actually want you here.
A few months ago a friend was dealing with a difficult situation. I won’t go into detail because it’s her situation, not mine (sorry not sorry, you nosey people!). It was one of those moments where I asked her how she was, and she just burst into tears like she couldn’t hold it all in one more moment. She explained the situation, and then talked about how in the midst of it everyone and their mom (my exaggeration, not hers) had an opinion about it. Isn’t that the way it goes? Everyone always has an opinion. And sometimes those opinions are less than helpful.
All she really needed was someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and probably a big glass of red wine. And a cheese plate. We always need a cheese plate.
A few days later, I texted her just to tell her I was praying for her, and added at the end: #imwith___ (insert friend’s name here. Anonymity is my specialty, ok?) Yes, this was inspired by Hillary Clinton’s campaign slogan. Don’t freak out.
Since then, I have loved this idea. No matter the situation, no matter what someone is going through, that is I want them to know above all else. I’m with you.
When life is messy and hard, when it seems like our world is headed full speed towards destruction, when fear is ever present, I think of the One who I follow.
Hey Friend, When I don’t know what else to write, it’s prayer. Really, whatever I am writing is a prayer. If it isn’t something I wouldn’t say to God, I shouldn’t be saying it. That doesn’t mean I don’t say certain four letter words, it just means I should avoid lies and trivial gossip and […]
It is a cliche Christian college girls question: “Which bible guy would you want to marry?” Ew gross I can’t believe I really participated in that conversation. But alas, it happened. My answer was Joshua. My thought process was pretty simple: Joshua wasn’t a screw-up. (This probably has something to do with my expectations of […]
This life is an ongoing journey of figuring stuff out. Of losing self, losing God, finding God, finding self. A beautiful arc of adventure and questioning and confusion.
“I left that conversation, and I knew exactly what I wanted for the rest of my life – for nothing and for everything. I thought, how unjealous I am of anyone on this planet. All I ever want for myself is the kingdom version of me, the exact thing he is making me.” This quote […]
The favorite question of my best friend is: “What are you learning?” So I’ve felt inspired to share that this week. Here is what I have been learning recently…
this life's blessings 